Crater Shader

SH-Look at that crater shader
Me-What????
SH-It's a cereal box toy.

I do wish my cereal boxes still came with toys in them.

Love That

Sleeping Husband set up suddenly and sat on the edge of the bed. He lifted his arm out towards the right, pointed at nothing and said enthusiastically "love that!"

Behind the madness: He just got a new car stereo off ebay this week and loves it. The direction he pointed was exactly as if he was adjusting the volume on a car stereo.... hmmm.... dreaming of electronics again perhaps?

Happy Meals

I tried to wake husband up and he begins muttering:

-I sent out my own super.... mutter mutter..

-Your own what?

-Happy Meals. ...mutter... mutter...

-I want a happy meal!

-Happy meals weren't mentioned.

-Yes they were. You said you sent out your own happy meals.

-It was a metaphor for making myself happy

.

Sleep Petting

I wake up late and hear that the baby has been complaining to get up for a while and she sounds pretty upset. I barely open my eyes as I stumble out of bed but I notice the husband is on the other end of the bed petting the cat!
"How could you just listen to her cry, that is so mean!" I say as I leave the room and the Husband gives no reply.

When baby and I return from the nursery, the Husband is laying back down on his pillow fast asleep. When he finally awakes from the dead I inquire why he didn't go to the baby when he heard her crying. He was dumbfounded. He had no recollection of her crying. "But you were at the end of the bed petting the cat?" I say confused. Just as confused he replies "I was?"

Conclusion: Husband likes petting the cat in his sleep, but not changing diapers.

Commercials and Flys

Sleeping Husband: You haven't been bombarded with commercials for the last hour?

Awake Wife: No, have you?

Sleeping Husband: I've got a substitute.

Awake Wife: Substitute?

Sleeping Husband: Fly on my face.

Want to hear something?

Sleeping Husband woke me up and said excitedly:
"Hey Mom, want to hear something? I found that the grape packs squish a lot more. They squish more than the others!"

Fan

I kiss my sleeping husband and he says:
-Where should I go?
-For what?
-A fan...
-A fan? What do you need a fan for?
-A check up...
-What?
-A dentist check up.

Manufacturing

Send it.
Send the product to manufacturing!

Inventory

Eight in the morning. Leave Husband asleep in bed and I go get the baby and discover dirty diaper, dirty outfit, dirty sheets. I begin to clean her up and I repeatedly call for husband to come help. I hear him respond a few times, but he never shows up. I finally call out one last time:
-What ARE you doing?
And Sleeping Husband shouts back:
-Looking at T-shirt inventory.

Basement

-Did you see that basement?
-What basement?
-With Conan O'Brien.

50%

Found husband muttering about percentages last night.

Colleen

Sleeping husband randomly says:
-She looks like Colleen.

(We like to watch 30 Rock, so I can only assume he was referring to Colleen Donaghy)

Software

Went to bed before Husband around midnight. It's now 7 in the morning and I'm wide awake. Decide to ask sleeping Husband some questions:
-What time did you go to bed last night?
-7:30 or 8:30.
-You couldn't have gone to bed then.
-Why?
-Because it's 7:30 now.
-It's new software.
(Of course! Why didn't I think of that?)