Like a Man

I get in bed after helping NK with a nightmare about a friend stealing one of her toys (traumatic, I know). And when I hop in bed husband makes a horrible loud sound "kkkkkrrrrrrrr" pause "kkkkkrrrrrrrr" like the grinding sound of a car not starting. Startled and kind of terrified I scream, "What are you doing?" He confidently replies "You are going to go get some food for our machine, like a man."  "What machine?" I inquire. "The slot machine."

Musically Inclined

"Why do you keep bouncing your leg up and down?" I ask sleeping husband.
His response: "To keep rhythm."

Behind the Madness
He did fall asleep watching a How I Met Your Mother episode that contained a marching band.