Pieces

"Do you know what to do with all those pieces?" Sleeping Husband asks.
"Lego pieces?"
"Ya!" he responds enthusiastically.

Son

"I know what to look for!" Sleeping Husband says defiantly.
"What?"
"A cow trap for my son."
"What? You don't even have a son. Do you???"
With a sigh of disappointment he responds, "no."

Manufacturing

Send it.
Send the product to manufacturing!

Oh boy

I return to bed and ask sleeping husband to cuddle up beside me. He responds:
-awww
But he doesn't move. So I ask again, "will you cuddle me?" and he joyfully exclaims:
-Oh boy!

Mon...mun...mawn

Sleeping husband randomly blurts out:
-You'll get them mon... (acts like he can't pronounce the word and tries again) mun... (and tries one more time) mawn... (and gives up). You'll get them again. I'm sure. Don't worry.

Chuckling

Sleeping Husband is currently muttering and chuckling in the other room.

Inventory

Eight in the morning. Leave Husband asleep in bed and I go get the baby and discover dirty diaper, dirty outfit, dirty sheets. I begin to clean her up and I repeatedly call for husband to come help. I hear him respond a few times, but he never shows up. I finally call out one last time:
-What ARE you doing?
And Sleeping Husband shouts back:
-Looking at T-shirt inventory.

Basement

-Did you see that basement?
-What basement?
-With Conan O'Brien.

50%

Found husband muttering about percentages last night.

Colleen

Sleeping husband randomly says:
-She looks like Colleen.

(We like to watch 30 Rock, so I can only assume he was referring to Colleen Donaghy)

Wall

Laying in silence trying to fall asleep and suddenly Husband clearly exclaims:
-White wall!

Software

Went to bed before Husband around midnight. It's now 7 in the morning and I'm wide awake. Decide to ask sleeping Husband some questions:
-What time did you go to bed last night?
-7:30 or 8:30.
-You couldn't have gone to bed then.
-Why?
-Because it's 7:30 now.
-It's new software.
(Of course! Why didn't I think of that?)

Glasses

Husband mutters:
-adkjfadjkjk glasses.
-What glasses?
-Rob's glasses. I saw a reflection in them.

Phone Number

Husband exclaims:
-I need to answer.
-What do you need to answer?
-The phone number.
-What will happen if you don't?
-(With bewilderment and genuine concern) I don't know.

Hugs

I return to bed and sleeping Husband cuddles up beside me and I lovingly tell him:
-I like the hugs.
He responds coyly:
-Oh do you?!

Privacy

I hear husband mutter:
-Privacy...
-What?
-all the privacy their phone doesn't have.

(We are currently waiting for a fedex package containing my new cell phone)

Capitalizer

I open my phone to record a voice memo about Husband's night babbling and he shouts:
-Put your phone down you capitalizer.

(Yesterday we agreed to go public with my blog... maybe Sleeping Husband isn't as okay with this decision as Awake Husband.)

Got Your Back

Husband exclaims:
-Who's got my back?
He rolls over and asks:
-Your nose?

Mayonnaise

I return to bed and hear husband saying:
-Get the kitty he has all that lakdfjkadjf(unintelligible word) on him.
-He has what on him?
-All that adlkfjaljdfjk(unintelligible word).

Silence... then husband says:
-It looks like mayonnaise.
And he starts chuckling.

Cocoon

I return to bed and see husband wrapped up in the sheets flipping around.
-What ARE you dreaming about!?
-Being swaddled in a cocoon.

Sweatshirt

I roll husband over to make space for me as I return to bed and I hear him say in a frustrated tone:
-It's a classic...(unintelligible mumbles)
-It's a classic what?
-Stupid gray sweatshirt or whatever that is for July 4th!

I have no insight on this one.

Babies

Baby is crying again, I roll over and ask my still sleeping husband:
-Can you see what's up with the baby?

I get no response, and so I try again louder:
-Can you see what's up with the baby?
-Hmmmm

Louder and more annoyed this time:
-Can you see what's up with the baby?
-What's that mean?
-It means can you go see what is up with the baby?

Sensing my urgency and unhappiness he jumps out of bed and says:
-Does that mean babies were born here?

Policies

I return to bed and hear mumbling...
-I like policies.
-What?
-I like the ones with policies.
-What policies?
-hmmmmm.... parking and stuff.

(The previous days we had spent at the zoo and discovery museum! And husband was mad at me for tossing a piece of popcorn at a coyote.)

He loves me, he loves me not, HE LOVES ME

Wife-Why you so happy?
Husband-You.

Lady in Oklahoma

-What you dreaming about?
-A lady in Tulsa, Oklahoma with a 1 1/2 month old watching TV. She's watching because...
-What? Why is she watching?
-She wants to win the prize.
-What prize?
-NBC is giving out a prize.

The Who, What, When, Where, and Why

The challenges and joys of motherhood have provoked and inspired thousands of moms to turn to their keyboards and blog. This is understandable for parenthood is a marvelous experience worth sharing. But for me motherhood has presented a unique phenomenon, and a rather entertaining one. At 2 am, 5 am, and 8 am I awaken to the cries of my beloved daughter and I crawl out of bed and leave my dreaming husband. But when I return I am greeted with the unexplainable and unpredictable inter-workings of my husbands mind "at rest." Whether I find him flipped upside down, laughing out loud, talking about taxes, or laying on the floor I will open my laptop and share.