Neighbors

Sleeping husband starts laughing and muttering.
"What?" I pry.
"Just a bunch of neighbors" he says with a smile.
"Where?"
"Standing around."
"What are they doing?"
Mutter, mutter... "deadbolts."

Behind the Madness
He has been reading about bump-keys. I hope he's not planning on using them on the neighbors deadbolts!

Too Many Flowers

I climb into bed after a middle of the night feeding:

"Oh no!" the sleeping husband cries.
"What?" I say.
He mumbles something unintelligible, so I ask again.
"That was a lotttttttt of flowers. I don't know what they're doing!" he says with a surprising amount of sass.  He then proceeds to fervently start drumming his fingers on his chest.